Warriors Unleashed
by Goldenstar13
Summary: On a normal day in the clans, Lionblaze discovers a show called Warriors Unleashed and soon has everyone obsessed! Now reformatted, Warriors Unleashed is back in action! T for safety.
1. Episode 1: Tigerstar

**Episode 1: Tigerstar**

**Hello, people! Well, I am back and in action! And welcome to the Warriors Unleashed revival!**

**I don't own Warriors or anything else that I refer to in the following text. And enjoy!**

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><p>It was a normal Greenleaf day in ThunderClan. The sun was setting, offering a beautiful view for those few cats who wanted to share tongues. While most of the cats crowded together, Lionblaze padded over to a TV in an empty corner of the camp and collected the remote from atop the old television set. With one paw, he lazily flipped through the channels.<p>

"Nothing is on." Lionblaze complained inwardly. He was about to touch his paw to the button again to change the channel, but just at that moment an interesting commercial came on.

"Warriors Unleashed, the talk show for Warriors, about Warriors, by Warriors, premieres in five minutes!"

Lionblaze, intrigued by the prospect of this type of show, dashed over to Firestar and told him about the new show. Firestar, also interested, leaped onto the Highledge.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the Highledge for a special announcement.

Jayfeather walked Briarlight out to join the meeting. Seeing that all of his clanmates were around, Firestar began.

"There is a new talk show for Warriors premiering in a few moments, and I believe that we should preview it. All in favor, paw in the air!"

All cats immediately agreed, except for a disgruntles Jayfeather because he wouldn't be able to see anyway. All of ThunderClan slowly gathered around the television as the show's theme song played.

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><p>Meanwhile on a retro-themed set, a tortoiseshell she-cat with golden streaks and golden eyes was having a serious conversation with a pale yellow tabby she-cat with yellow sunlight-like eyes.<p>

The tortoisehell, whose name was Goldenheart, meowed, "For the fiftieth time—and I am counting—you cannot give a grown cat a wedgie! I don't even know how that's possible, and I don't want to know, so don't tell me!"

Unbeknownst to the pair, the camera was rolling.

Liontail, a dark ginger tom with a fluffy tail and green eyes, coughed to get the pair's attention.

"Guys, we're live!"

The tabby, whose name was Sunclaw, sprang into the wings while Goldenheart stood there, shifting her paws, embarrassed. Her silver, blue, and green co-host, Nightsong, leaped to her rescue.

"Hello and welcome to Warriors Unleashed! YAHOO!"

A round of maniacal laughter was suddenly heard from a spinning office chair. Goldenheart, Nightsong, and a silvery she-cat with white eyes (named Diamondeyes), looked over in confusion. A completely black she-cat with an orange tail and wild hazel eyes was spinning around and laughing delightedly.

"Uh, that's Burntfur...she got caught in a fire when she was little and then got subjected to radiation waves..." Goldenheart whispered apologetically.

Suddenly, Burntfur shouted out, "Sandstorm is the best! _Sandstorm shall rule ThunderClan!_"

In the camp, Sandstorm's eyes widened and her fur grew hot. With a start, she realized that she was blushing. She hid behind Firestar in an attempt to hide this fact.

Sunclaw calmly padded onstage and told the insane she-cat, "Sure she will, Burntfur. Come on, I've got her in the back room.

Burntfur leaped from her chair in excitement. "Okay!" As she padded backstage, Sunclaw followed her, and a large sledgehammer was briefly visible in her paws.

With a yelp, Goldenheart quickly pulled the curtain over the scene.

"Right, our first vic-I mean, guest-is Tigerstar!"

Liontail quickly pressed a small button, setting off recorded applause, as Sunclaw dragged Tigerstar out from backstage and handcuffed him to Burntfur's chair.

"What in the Dark Forest is going on?" Tigerstar exclaimed before listing questions.

"Where am I? Who are you? What i-" He was about to repeat his first question when he noticed Diamondeyes. "Oh, StarClan..."

Diamondeyes eyes widened, making her diamond-like eyes seem brighter, and hid behind Nightsong, giggling idiotically.

"You've been handcuffed to a chair. You're on Warriors Unleashed. I'm insane." Goldenheart offered answers before a crazed look came over her face. Tigerstar squirmed uncomfortably.

"If you think she's nuts, wait till you meet Burntfur." Nightsong murmured to Tigerstar before raising her voice again. "Anyway, on to our questions! Tigerstar, is there a she-cat you like? Possible a maple-shady one?"

With his free paw, Tigerstar slapped her upside the head. In retaliation, Nightsong slapped him harder.

"No! There are no love letters passing between Mapleshade and I that are collecting under my nest!" Tigerstar shouted out.

Goldenheart smiled evilly and glanced at Liontail. "Did we get all that?"

Liontail returned her toothy grin and held up a voice recorder in answer. Tigerstar stared at it with his jaw open before he went into a rage. Sunclaw led in a now slightly more-sane Burntfur and helpfully whacked Tigerstar with her beloved hammer. Tigerstar immediately fell unconscious.

"Can we do his secrets now?" Diamondeyes asked.

"Yes, why don't you go get them from the vault?" Goldenheart answered.

As Diamondeyes trotted off, Goldenheart leaned over Tigerstar and poked his head, giggling hysterically and watching a lump grow.

"I'm back!" Diamondeyes called as she trotted back in with a lavender-colored sheet of paper. She scanned the list and voiced her opinions. "Aww. Oh no he didn't! Ew...

Before she could continue on, Goldenheart snatched the paper away and began reading down the list.

"He's dating Mapleshade!" she called out.

"No, duh!" Sunclaw answered sarcastically.

Goldenheart ignored her and continued on. "He secretly took Leopardstar's last life and gave it to Breezepelt!"

Whitefoot, a black she-cat with white paws, stormed from behind the camera. She was an avid fan of the former RiverClan cat and was enraged to discover this new fact.

"Hold my earrings!" she screeched before she was immediately squashed by Diamondeyes.

"Nooooo! Tigey!"

Sunclaw dropped her hammer on the stage and attempted to pry the two apart. "You could do _soooo_much better, Diamondeyes!"

Goldenheart ignored the catfight while the others took bets on who would win. "He dreamed of being a..." she gasped in amazement, "Kittypet!"

Everyone immediately froze and stared at Tigerstar, now conscious. The cat blushed.

"They have good food."

Goldenheart read the next one: "He ate twoleg food."

When Goldenheart finally arrived on the last secret, she stopped and read it to herself. Her eyes grew and she disappeared into her dressing room, leaving the paper to flutter to the stage.

In the meantime, Sunclaw was still trying to pry Diamondeyes and Whitefoot apart.

"You-don't-deserve-him!" she ground out.

"He _killed _Leopardstar! DIE DIE DIE!" Whitefoot screeched her revenge.

"He's already dead." Burntfur pointed out intellectually.

This fact had not occurred to the black and white she-cat and she stopped to ponder it. Diamondeyes saw her chance and she quickly punched out her opponent.

"Yes!" Nightsong gloated before turning to Liontail. "You owe me ten dollars!"

"We agreed on five!" Liontail snapped back.

"But I decided that if Diamondeyes punched Whitefoot, I get an extra five!"

"You never told me that!"

"I just did!"

"Boom chick bow wow!"

This new statement came from Burntfur, who immediately received stares from all of the crewmembers.

"Did we mention that she was subjected to radiation?" Sunclaw mumbled.

Suddenly, everyone noticed that Goldenheart had disappeared.

Whitefoot, who harbored a strong dislike for Goldenheart and a wish to be the executive producer, launched into her happy dance after yelling, "She quit! I call the exec producer job!"

Suddenly, from nowhere in particular, someone moaned, "Tigerstar!"

Tigerstar screamed like a girl as a black she-cat with golden eyes sauntered in.

Nightsong, Diamondeyes, Sunclaw, and Liontail lifted an eyebrow at the she-cat. Not many cats wore high-heeled combat boots, leather jackets, or fishnet leggings. Who was this mysterious cat?

"Who are you?" Burntfur asked curiously.

The she-cat smirked and put a paw on her hip. "I am Shadowstar and..." the newcomer turned to Tigerstar and drew herself up to appear menacing. "Your worst nightmare."

Tigerstar burst into tears immediately and cried for mercy. Shadowstar burst into laughter, kicked off the boots, shimmied out of the leggings, washed off the make-up, and handed the leather jacket back to a random female biker. Goldenheart grinned and took out a clipboard.

As she checked something off the list, everyone slowly burst into giggles. "Make Tigerstar cry: check!"

Sunclaw, still in tears from the laughter, dragged Tigerstar, who was in tears for a different reason, offstage. Diamondeyes finally controlled herself and followed to comfort her new hubby.

"Th-th-that's all, folks!" Burntfur stammered out. Nightsong slapped her and turned on Goldenheart, who had slipped the boots and leggings back on and was checking the look in the mirror.

"I told you not to let her watch that Looney Toons marathon, Goldenheart!" Nightsong sighed.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Tune in next week where our next guest star will be-"

Suddenly Burntfur held a carrot in her paw and chewed it thoughtfully before asking, "What's up, doc?"

Nightsong grabbed Sunclaw's hammer from where she had dropped it, dragged Burntfur behind the curtain, and...well, you can guess.

"Our guest will be Sol! Goodnight, everybody!"

Thinking that Whitefoot had finished her dance montage and had shut off the camera (when in reality she's doing the Macarena on top of Burntfur's chair) Liontail padded onstage and up to Goldenheart, who was just leaving.

Now, Liontail secretly harbored a crush for his boss. And now he was going to ask her out.

"So...do you wanna catch a movie?" he asked, trying to act 'cool'.

Goldenheart looked at the director and answered, "Sorry, Liontail, but Redpelt is taking me hunting. Ciao!

Liontail watched, shocked, as she shut off the main light switch and walked into the night, leaving the studio in darkness.

"REDPELT!" Liontail screeched.

The sounds of him storming off and Whitefoot falling off of the chair were heard as the time slot ended.

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><p>Back in camp, every cat was staring openmouthed at the TV.<p>

"That..." Lionblaze began.

"Was..." Cinderheart added.

"AWESOME!" everyone finished.

"Let's do that again!" Cherrykit called.

Everyone leaped for the remote at the same time and knocked heads. Sandstorm sneaked through the unconscious bodies, now wearing a '#1 Burntfur Fan' button, and autotuned next week's episode. She looked around the unconscious clan and smiled, flashing her Burntfur button proudly.

"This is going to be an interesting show..."

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><p><strong>Well? How do y'all like the revival? I'm editing each chapter, so some things will change. For example, Goldenheart will always be Goldenheart. Any songs I may have used in the original will be only mentioned so you can pull up a tab. Some cats may not appear. And if you review, I will PM you with a very important message.<strong>

**I missed you all. I promise that this story will never suddenly go kapuft again.**


	2. Episode 2: Sol

**Episode 2: Sol**

**Hello! I'm am so sorry that it's been seven months; I'm in junior high now and there's a lot of work. And drama. And mean girls and boys who I would love to punch. Hard.**

**Twenty reviews! I feel loved!**

**I think that the revival turned out better than the original; what do you think?**

**Right, don't submit dares: I'm currently just rewriting every episode originally without adding anything (changing and adding other things, just not dares), and when we're caught up, I'll have a plan by then. Good? Right.**

**Remember that episodes two through...eight, I think?...were written before Dove and Ivy became warriors. Therefore, they'll still have apprentice names. And I do not have Forgotten Warrior yet, so I don't know anything that involves that special black feline that everyone matches with Sol...**

**I don't own Warriors or anything I refer to in the following text.**

**And the Sol revival begins...now!**

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><p>A week after the first episode of Warriors Unleashed, everyone is already gathered around the television set. They would be watching a special behind-the-scenes preview if Ivypaw wasn't watching the last episode of Hannah Montana...again.<p>

"Ivypaw, will you please forget that squeaking twoleg and give me the remote!" Dovepaw begs her sister, glaring at the twoleg singing her heart out onscreen.

Sadly, Ivypaw doesn't hear her sister.

"Yesterday's gone...we gotta keep movin' on...I'm so thankful for the moment-"

Thankfully, Whitewing grabs a piece of prey and shoves it into Ivypaw's mouth to stop her from singing. After congratulations have been awarded, Sandstorm proudly pins on her 'I HEART Burntfur' button and switches the channel to Warriors Unleashed as the music plays.

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><p>Meanwhile on the set, Goldenheart, Diamondeyes, Burntfur, and Nightsong are breaking some bad news to their camera cat.<p>

"Due to the economy," Goldenheart begins dramatically, "we are going to have to let you go."

Whitefoot stares at the tortoiseshell in confusion, searching for signs of a lie. When she doesn't, she asks, "What?"

"Lay off, fire, throw the book at you!" Nightsong offers synonyms helpfully, to which Goldenheart responds by throwing a large hardcover copy of Harry Potter at Whitefoot.

Narrowly ducking the volume, Whitefoot bobs back up and clutches her beloved camera to her chest.

"You can't fire me!" she shouts.

"April Fools!" the hostesses screech delightedly. Whitefoot's confused frown transforms into a surprised grimace before morphing into an angered glare. She stomps back to her tripod, jams her camera onto it, and shoots one last death glare at the hostesses before turning on the camera.

"Remind me," Diamondeyes starts, "Why did we pull an April Fools prank a week after April Fools Day?"

"Goldenheart never got a chance to play Circle of Life loud enough to wake up her sister, so she wanted to pull a prank on one of her friends," Nightsong answers before lowering her voice. "I think Burntfur is pulling one on us because she's acting normal."

The two glance over at Burntfur to see her working through a large stack of coloring books.

Goldenheart doesn't notice this and opened the show. "Welcome to Warriors Unleashed! I am proud to report that even StarClan was watching this! We've gone astral!"

From stage left, Sunclaw whimpers, "Goldie, Sol is very finicky and he freaks me out. Hurry up and introduce him so I can get him out of my fur!"

"I heard that he can hypnotize!" Burntfur mutters before making a very large cow a very bright green.

"Uh, that has not been confirmed by anyone." Nightsong points out.

Goldenheart also ignores this.

"Our vic-guest-is Sol!"

Suddenly, an extremely dreamy voice that sounds nothing like Sunclaw announces, "Ooh, pretty stars..."

"I tried to tell you..." Burntfur snorts before turning and scribbling across a picture of puppies with adorably large eyes.

Nightsong and Whitefoot both jump backstage and drag out Sol. They quickly shove him into a large beanbag chair that is impossible to get out of. Whitefoot springs back to the camera and the four hostesses stand in front of Sol.

"I insist you release me before I pull out my amazing magical powers on you!" Sol meows angrily, trying to look menacing but instead looking like the tabby kitties that Burntfur just colored blue.

Goldenheart and the crew glance at each other, rolling their eyes and mouthing 'Wow'. Diamondeyes decides to begin.

"So, Sol, do you have a secret crush on anybody? Possibly a famous black cat with green eyes?"

A picture of Hollyleaf suddenly pops up on the wall just behind Diamondeyes. 'Hallelujah' randomly began to play.

"Subtle, Diamond." Nightsong sighs, rolling her eyes.

"Do you mean young Hollyleaf?" Sol breaks in. "Why, of course not!"

Suddenly Sunclaw stumbles from backstage and clucks like a chicken. Nightsong slaps her, making her normal again, and turns to the camera.

"Lads and lasses, please welcome Hollyleaf!"

Suddenly a black screen falls down on her so Nightsong's head and front paws are sticking out.

"Hollyleaf is only a plot device for this episode and will have her own interview later on in which more hilariousness will hopefully ensue."

The black screen rose up and Nightsong gets up again in annoyance. While the screen was down, the now normal Sunclaw kidnapped Hollyleaf from the tunnels and handcuffed her to a chair.

"The Warrior Code forbids you from taking me away from where I was!" Hollyleaf protests angrily.

"And that would be?" Burntfur prompts.

"..." *Crickets* "..."

"Didn't think so," Goldenheart sighs. "Now Sol, if we did this..."

She nods at Liontail and he pushes down a hand-held detonator. A stick of dynamite underneath Hollyleaf's chair blows up. She flies upwards, breaking a hole in the ceiling, through the apartments above it, and out of the building, leaving a few cat-shaped holes in the clouds.

"Hollyleaf!" Sol screams.

Nightsong holds up one paw, and Hollyleaf falls back through the hole and lands in the chair again. She's bruised with a black eye, but is otherwise alive. Sol is thoroughly relieved and faints.

"Pfft. Boys are so odd," Sunclaw sighs before she handcuffs Hollyleaf to her chair again.

"And the answer is: he likes her!" Goldenheart reports delightedly. "Burntfur, ask her if they have mutual feelings!"

Burntfur stares at her with a blank look while Nightsong and Sunclaw facepaw. Goldenheart stares at Burntfur in disbelief before she sighs and rephrases herself. "Ask Hollyleaf is she likes Sol."

"_Oh! _Why didn't you just say so?" Burntfur meows before turning to Hollyleaf. "Hollyleaf, do you like Sol?"

Hollyleaf glares at her and shakes her head. Meanwhile Nightsong and Goldenheart have rigged up a lie detector behind the chair and are now checking the results of the last question. Goldenheart pops up and hisses, "She _lies_!"

All the lights go out and Burntfur appears with a flashlight under her face to give her a ghostly appearance. "And liars must be destroyed!"

Burntfur revs a chainsaw and is about to advance before everything freezes.

Liontail stands up from his director's chair and walks over to the stage. He takes the flashlight and the chainsaw, hits the master light switch, and dusts the plaster and drywall off of Hollyleaf. "And cut! Let's try that again, from the top, take two! And...action!"

Everything unfreezes and Nightsong pops her head up.

"Let's try this again! Hollyleaf, do you like Sol?"

Hollyleaf growls, knowing she can't fool the lie detector, and answers with a subtle nod. Everyone looks to Goldenheart, who is watching the detector. She nods and waves her tail in a cat-like thumbs up.

Diamondeyes gives a girl-like scream that only a cat can give and meows, "She said yes!"

Randomly, the wedding march plays and everyone glares at Liontail, who is messing with the stereo.

"It was a she-has-a crush-on-him yes. Not a he-just-popped-the-question-and-she-said-yes yes!"

Liontail immediately tries to shut off the stereo, accidentally changes the music to Justin Bieber's Baby, unintenionally turns up the volume, and finally smashes the thing with Sunclaw's hammer that she left on stage right. Breathing hard and mad at an inanimate object, he turns to look at the hostesses. They're all standing there with their mouths open, Whitefoot has the SWAT team on the phone, and Sunclaw has a tranq locked and loaded on him.

"Someone's got problems," Nightsong meows.

Meanwhile, Whitefoot is trying to explain their predicament to the SWAT team. "Yeah, do you handle psycho cats armed with sledgehammers—Hello? Hello?"

"Can I go now?" Hollyleaf whimpers.

Diamondeyes's eyes light up. "Okay! I'll use my special talk show host teleporting powers on you!"

Diamondeyes claps and Hollyleaf disappears to wherever she was.

Goldenheart immediately drags the attention back to the show. "Right, we only had that dare, so I'm going to have to ad-lib. Burntfur!"

"Yes, sir!" Burntfur pops up and knocks her feet together before she throws a salute. Goldenheart glares at her; a lady doesn't want to be called 'sir'.

"General?" Burntfur tries again and receives a hiss.

"Admiral?" Goldenheart facepaws. "Ma'am?

Goldenheart throws her paws up with a dramatic sigh. "Finally! I want you to…" She whispers in her ear and Burntfur pulls away with a grin. She then skips off, singing "Bustin' makes me feel good!"

"Busting what makes her feel good?" Sunclaw calls. "Busting skulls?"

"You know," Diamondeyes points out, "we really should be worried about her."

Goldenheart shrugs. "Nah. Blindfold him and tie him down."

Sunclaw has this done in seconds and Burntfur trots back in dragging a bag. She drops it and out spills…paints.

"Oh no." Nightsong groans.

Goldenheart grins maniacally and answers, "Oh yeah. Everyone grab something and start coloring!"

A card that says 'two minutes later' pops up and the screen goes back to normal. Sol is now conscious, wildly rainbow colored, and positioned in front of a mirror. Burntfur has lost the single shred of self-control she possesses and is rolling on the floor laughing.

Liontail shouts out, "One, two, three!"

Goldenheart rips off the blindfold. Sol looks in the mirror and screams like a little girl while the whole cast and crew are rolling on the floor laughing. After eventually regaining control, Goldie turns to Nightsong and asks, "Will you go get his secrets? Thanks, dear. And while she goes to get those, we'll be having a quick commercial break. See ya in two!"

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><p>The lights are down. Suddenly a spotlight alights on a screen. A string of words flash across the screen. They announce,<p>

"_Beginning on April 8, 2012, all original episodes of Warriors Unleashed shall be returning in their original written order. Buckle in, WU fans. It's starting again._"

The screen immediately cuts to black.

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><p>The show comes back on and we find that Liontail, Diamondeyes, Sunclaw, and Burntfur are all handcuffed to chairs and Goldenheart is gone. Nightsong is still in the vault collecting Sol's secrets. Whitefoot and still multi-colored Sol are standing in the middle, waiting for the commercial to finish.<p>

"And welcome back to Warriors Unleashed! As you can see, some of are staff are handcuffed to chairs. Do not be alarmed, it is simply a security precaution." Her phone rings and she answers it. "You're on with Whitefoot!"

Back in the ThunderClan camp, Dovepaw is practically screaming into the phone, "What in StarClan did you do?"

Whitefoot is confused, "Uh, I handcuffed all of these guys to chairs and Goldie left..."

"Liar! I can see her wrapped in cobweb behind Sol!"

Whitefoot glares at Sol, who does has done a sloppy job of hiding the unconscious and cobweb-wrapped Goldenheart behind him.

"Mouse brain! Now we have to tell them everything!"

"Fine!" Sol rolls his eyes. "I used my special telekinesis to tie up the others so I could kidnap Goldenheart so Whitefoot could be executive producer. She agreed to tell me where Hollyleaf was if I helped her."

Nightsong suddenly appears in a fireman's uniform and holding a hose connected to the kitchen sink.

"Eat water, traitor!" She flips on the faucet and aims at the pair. Unfortunately, the water pressure is so high that she is propelled off of the ground and around the room.

"Hey, watch it!" Whitefoot yells, doing a very bad job of dodging the deluge of water.

Sol, in his haste to get out of the studio and into the safety of the lake territories, releases Goldenheart and runs screeching out the door. Nightsong finally gains control of the rogue hose and drenches Whitefoot (rather unnecessarily) before turning off the hose. Nightsong slits the ropes on her friends and rounds on Whitefoot.

"Whitefoot, because of what you almost did, next episode, you shall be punished!"

Beethoven's Fifth plays combined with lightning strikes. Nightsong flashes a glare at Liontail, who is now messing with the backup sound system.

Whitefoot rolls her eyes and puts her paw on her hip. "Whatevs. I'll get that job somehow! If it's the last thing I do!"

The instrumental speaking part of Thriller begins to play and everyone swivels to glare at Liontail. He's helping Goldenheart clean the cobwebs from her fur and is nowhere near the sound system. Eyes grow wide. No one speaks until...

"I heard that the ghost of a janitor cat haunts the building."

That would be Burntfur, of course, trying to lighten the mood. Goldenheart stands, rolls her eyes, and wrenches an iPod from Whitefoot's paw.

"Seriously, Whitefoot?" Nightsong sighs.

Whitefoot cackles and plays it again…and when it stops, she plays it again…and again…and again. Sunclaw screeches, grabs her hammer, and proceeds to chase Whitefoot. Nightsong calmly turns to the camera.

"Tune in next week when our guest will be Jayfeather. Goodnight everybody!"

Whitefoot jumps on Nightsong's head, hoping this will stop Sunclaw. Let's just say it doesn't and Nightsong is going to have a really big lump on her head next episode.

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><p>Back in camp, most everyone is disolving into laughter.<p>

"Did you guys see his face when they painted him? That was priceless!" Firestar is singing the praises of his favorite part.

Lionblaze is quick to best: "No, what was better was Jayfeather's face when they said he was next!"

Everyone looks over at Jayfeather, who has fallen over with paws in the air when Nightsong uttered his name. Everyone has new reason to laugh and quickly begin to while poor Jayfeather lies there and attempts to start mentally preparing for next week. He of course fails. No one can prepare for Warriors Unleashed!

* * *

><p><strong>And how did I do?<strong>

**From this episode until we're all caught up again, my friends Mothstar, Lightningstar of LeafClan, and Storm in the Sunny Sky will be editors, helping to convert the chapters from the original format into the format you see here before you. I'll do evens and these three will help do the odds. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this and please review!**

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><p><strong>Hosts<strong>

_Goldenheart: _Tortoiseshell she-cat with gold streaks, gold eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Burntfur_: Black she-cat with orange tail, hazel eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Nightsong_: Mostly silver she-cat with green and blue dyed streaks, hazel eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Diamondeyes_: White she-cat with silver streaks, white eyes that glisten like diamonds (Goldenstar13)

**Camera Cats/Techies**

_Whitefoot_: Dark brown tabby she-cat, white paws, brown eyes (Goldenstar13)

**Security**

_Sunclaw_: Pale yellow tabby she-cat, yellow eyes that glisten like sunlight (Goldenstar13)

**Director**

_Liontail_: Dark ginger tabby with a fluffy tail, green eyes (Goldenstar13)


	3. Episode 3: Jayfeather

**Episode 3: Jayfeather**

**Hello! So, in honor of the one year anniversary of WU, I am posting this special chapter (I'll explain why it's special momentarily) and then making a celebration on my other story, Tailed in Talented.**

**So, to get back up to speed faster, I have enlisted my three friends Storm in the Sunny Sky, Mothstar, and Lightningstar of Leafclan to convert the odd-numbered chapters from the original form into the form you see below. I'll be converting the even-numbered chapters and my two USA specials (which are my favorite ones as of yet). So, this conversion is by Storm in the Sunny Sky. **

**I don't own Warriors. **

**And the Jayfeather revival begins...now!**

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><p>In ThunderClan, Squirrelflight, Lionblaze, and Leafpool are all fighting to get the remote so they can watch Jayfeather's episode. The rest of the Clan is watching in silent amusement as both Squirrelflight and Lionblaze both jump for the remote, bang their heads together, and knock themselves out. Leafpool just shakes her head at the two warriors before reaching forward and picking up the remote to turn it to Warriors Unleashed for the night.<p>

* * *

><p>Over in the studio, the camera has started rolling to film the show.<p>

In the curiously furniture-devoid studio, Goldenheart stares at a piece of paper in her hand with a scared and excited look on her face. She sees the camera light turn red to signal that they began filming, and she, being the professional that she is, gets rid of her scared expression and gets even more excited as she stands up straighter and tries to address the crowd in a British accent that fails horribly.

"So my good fellows who are watching this show, I would be delighted to have tea and crumpets with you later. I am so happy that I got,"

Nightsong, stuffing Goldenheart's mouth with peanut butter cookie to quiet her British accent and horrible speech, interjects before Goldie could go any further.

"Yada Yada Yada. We all know Goldenheart is very grateful to have all you wonderful fans out there. So, while she is eating a delightfully delicious cookie prepared by me, we need to punish Whitefoot for last episode."

Whitefoot calls out from behind the camera cats, "Make me! I'm never going to come out."

Finally managing to eat the cookie, Goldenheart yells out to the back of the stage, "Hey! Sunclaw! Bring your hammer; we have a little problem we need you to deal with."

Immediately, Whitefoot starts to hyperventilate and runs off into the random cat orchestra that appeared. Cellos and violins fly up into the air as Whitefoot tries to run away from Sunclaw who has now appeared on the stage in front of the disrupted orchestra. The pale yellow cat leaps into the crowd and lands on Whitefoot. The fugitive immediately gives up fighting and allows herself to be taken up to the stage for her punishment.

On the stage, Goldenheart decides Whitefoot's punishments, "First of all, you must go by the name Whitefool for the rest of the show. Second, you must be locked in a room with surround sound and Justin Beiber with a microphone. So off you go. Or do I have to set Burntfur on you?"

At the sound of her least favorite cat, she ran into the closet only to see Beiber, ran back out, saw Burntfur, ran back in, ran back out, saw Burntfur again, and ran back in the room. Sunclaw ran over and slammed the door before she could run back out again. The entire studio heard the smack as Whitefool ran into the closed door. As Beiber started his first song, "U Smile" Whitefool starts screaming and Goldenheart puts a sheet of soundproof foam over the door so as to not torture all the other cats in the audience.

Goldenheart breaks the silence by saying in her British accent, "So, Nightsong, would you be so kind to do a lady a favor and go grab that old cot Jayfeather from the greenroom?"

Sunclaw, not being able to withstand Goldenheart's British accent for any longer, whacks her over the head with a hammer to shut her up. Meanwhile, Burntfur, in an I HEART JAYFEATHER shirt and waving a flag with Jayfeather's face on it, tackles him. Sunclaw leaves from trying to knock some sense into Goldenheart (quite literally), and hauls Burntfur off of Jayfeather so he can retain his dignity as one of the Three. She then ties Jayfeather down in the middle of the studio and joins the hostesses and Liontail in a lift. Goldenheart, now recovered from the hammer whacking and British madness, presses a button that makes a ginormous maze descend around Jayfeather in the middle. Nightsong presses a button that makes the lift begin to rise.

Liontail quickly lowers a ghost mic towards Goldie, who calls out, "_Jayfeather! You must make it out of the maze in less than two minutes. Otherwise, you must pay the consequences. And begin!_"

As Jayfeather tries to get out of the maze, he keeps bumping into the walls. To pass the time, Goldenheart starts to sing to herself, and then gets louder, "Time is ticking, it's keeps on ticking, oh, time is ticking away! Time is ticking, it keeps on ticking, oh time is ticking away!" When Liontail and Burntfur hear this and recognize it, they amplify Goldenheart's voice, teleport Michael Tate and TobyMac there to sing "Jesus Freak", and begin to lower the hidden materials for a concert. Even Jayfeather gets super excited and starts rocking out to the sound of awesome rap/rock music. When everyone has recovered most of their senses after being blinded, deafened, shaken up so much they couldn't feel anything, getting enough breath to say something, and repairing the studio, they are ready to resume the show again. Jayfeather is still in the maze because he had been having a bit to much fun. Goldenheart rappels down and carries back to the center of the maze for his second and much more embarrassing dare.

"Hey, Nightsong! Can we borrow your heels?" Goldenheart and Jayfeather were immediately bombarded with stiletto heels. After she has retained a few scratches from the needle-thin heels, Goldenheart grumpily grabs four shoes, sticks them on Jayfeather, and ties him down again before being hauled back into the lift. She starts the timer and watches as Jayfeather staggers through the maze. She starts humming "Lose My Soul" to herself and made sure not to start the rock concert again.

"You know, that whole rock concert was pretty cool," she stage-whispers to the crew.

"Welcome to the Freak Show," Nightsong mumbles. Right as the timer beeps two minutes, she looks down and saw that Jayfeather has not only made it out of the maze, but he has also torn apart the heels and is now giving himself a bath.

"How did he do that so quickly?" Diamondeyes asks.

"Who cares about that? My heels!" Nightsong dives over the edge of the lift and tackles Jayfeather to the ground.

While Sunclaw, Liontail, Burntfur, and Diamondeyes gather around the pile of fur and claws as they fight, Goldenheart raises the maze back into the air and then nonchalantly strolls over to the closet. She opens it just as Bieber begins to sing 'Baby'.

Goldie drags Whitefool out of the closet before giving Bieber back to a random fangirl. ("Wait until his voice gets deeper and then get all clingy.")

She drags Whitefool before the crew so they could judge and see if she's learned her lesson.

"Whitefool! Do you realize what you did was wrong and will not do it again?"

"Yes, yes. I'll do anything if it ensures I don't have to listen to him again."

"Then by the powers that are invested in me as host, as well as the powers I have made up, I rename you Whitefoot. Reassume your place in the show." That would be Nightsong there, now finished beating up Jayfeather in retaliation for destroying her heels.

The rest of the hosts glance at each other and roll their eyes. Abusing her power a bit too much, isn't she?

"Can I go now? I'm getting really tired," Jayfeather whines.

Goldenheart is about to say yes when Diamondeyes finds a piece of paper and sees a dare on it. She transports Cinderheart, Mothwing, and Willowshine to the studio and positions them in front of Jayfeather.

"Okay, Jayfeather, who do you like the best?" Diamondeyes purrs playfully.

"Oh StarClan, I guess Willowshine because Mothwing is way older than me and Lionblaze has a crush on Cinderheart."

Willowshine blushes and hides behind Mothwing.

"Right, then!" Goldenheart transports all of the cats back to their respective territories. "Anyway, our next cat on the show will be Firestar. And we have something special planned for you, my fiery feline. Be prepared for anything we might come up with. _Goodnight everybody_!"

The rock star stage appears again with fire spouts and everything. Liontail and Whitefoot quickly turn off the camera as TobyMac reappears with the entire DC Talk fanbase. ("Are there any Freaks out there?")

* * *

><p>Back in the ThunderClan camp, Firestar is giving his goodbyes to everyone he loves as he mentally prepares himself for next week. Everyone else in the Clan is laughing at either Jayfeather on the TV or the thought of Firestar getting tortured next week.<p>

"How do you think he got through the maze so quickly?" Blossomfall asks.

Bumblestripe comments, "He probably got through the maze faster because he's memorized how many bumps there are before each turn." As everyone falls silent, he speaks again, "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

"Yep. I heard every word you said," Jayfeather spoke with a tinge of that age-old sarcasm voice.

"OMSC, this isn't going to end well," Bumblestripe says.

"_Dude fight_!" one of the she-cats yells. Blossomfall grabs a video recorder. "This is so going on CatTube."

* * *

><p><strong>Edited by Storm in the Sunny Sky. Give him a hand, folks!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Hosts<strong>

_Goldenheart: _Tortoiseshell she-cat with gold streaks, gold eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Burntfur_: Black she-cat with orange tail, hazel eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Nightsong_: Mostly silver she-cat with green and blue dyed streaks, hazel eyes (Goldenstar13)

_Diamondeyes_: White she-cat with silver streaks, white eyes that glisten like diamonds (Goldenstar13)

**Camera Cats/Techies**

_Whitefoot_: Dark brown tabby she-cat, white paws, brown eyes (Goldenstar13)

**Security**

_Sunclaw_: Pale yellow tabby she-cat, yellow eyes that glisten like sunlight (Goldenstar13)

**Director**

_Liontail_: Dark ginger tabby with a fluffy tail, green eyes (Goldenstar13)


	4. Episode 4: Firestar

**Episode 4: Firestar**

**SO SORRY that this has been a year coming now. I feel so bad... I've been so busy with a brand new school and an essay every week that I haven't been able to work on more than one story at a time (*coughT&Tcough*). Again, really truly exceptionally sorry. Please don't be mad. :3**

**Don't think I'm weird and just bare with me. My parents are watching a show on Netlfix called Dark Shadows. NOT the Johnny Depp Dark Shadows. The sixties soap opera. Anyway, every ten or so episodes has a certain storyline, i.e. the main character turning into a vampire. Again, sixties soap opera, when vamps were still scary and made of pure evil and exploded in sunlight and didn't have obsessive fangirls who hit other obsessive fangirls over the head with shovels.**

**So, I was wondering if we would like to try this later on, with different storyline plots beneath each episode. I've given this a shot in my other Warriors story, Tailed & Talented.**

**So here we go with the fourth revival, which is...Firestar!**

* * *

><p>In the dorms above the Warriors Unleashed studio (fifth floor), Nightsong is in her room, ranting to a good friend of hers, Yellowtail.<p>

"...and let me tell you, Yellowtail, Burnt is completely and utterly insane. You know what she did to my heels? They were shredded, and she chucked them out the window! I could have fixed them, or at least recycled them as a pen holder or s-"

"_Warriors_!"

The voice is so angered and blood-chilling and dripping with rarely seen primal instinct that Nightsong fur stands on end, revealing her silver roots beneath her blue and green streaks.

"Gotta go." Nightsong unceremoniously hangs up on Yellowtail, checks her fur in her compact, and goes to the door of room W2.

Goldenheart is pacing the hallway, steadily shredding the carpet as she walks. Burntfur is peeking out of room the room she shares with Goldie (room W4) with her fur also on end. Sunclaw is just getting out of the shower and scrambles to the door, peeking around Nightsong and still holding her towel around her body. Liontail, the only boy and therefore on the other side of the hallway in W1, is standing at the door with a foaming mouth, thankfully only because of the frothy toothbrush in his paw. And of course, Whitefoot and Diamondeyes are standing at the last girl's apartment on the floor (W6), leaning against the door frame, dressed up as if getting ready to go hit the town.

"Burntfur." Goldenheart spins and points at the black cat. "You bought two more floors above this one in my name. You are aware that I'm not made of money, correct?"

Burntfur strolls forward and plucks a hair from Goldie's tail.

"Ow!" Goldie shouts, grabbing Burntfur's shoulders.

Burntfur extensively considers the hair and then places it on the tip of Goldie's rapidly swiveling tail. "No, you are not made of money."

There is pure silence for just a moment as everyone stares.

"Burntfur, I'm going to kill you," Goldie snaps. The black she-cat laughs, accepting the challenge, and runs for the metal spiral staircase at one end of the hallway.

"Banister's faster!" Whitefoot calls out as Burntfur takes the stairs proper. Taking this to heart, Goldie leaps onto the rail and sidesaddles it all the way down to the studio.

A sudden crash is heard and Whitefoot blanches.

"Oh, gosh. That was definitely a camera."

She takes the rail as well. Sunclaw, having rid herself of the towel and brushed out her fur, chases her down, with Liontail and Diamondeyes both bringing up the rear.

Four more crashes are heard in rapid succession. Nightsong sighs and rolls her eyes.

"See, we could have avoided all of this if we just took the elevator."

Nightsong calmly strolls over to the elevator at the end of the residential floor and presses the bottom button. When it comes up, she steps inside, calmly presses the button, and then rides down to the studio.

* * *

><p>Later on, once Burntfur's been sufficiently cut off and Goldie's hidden her carefully budgeted money in another place, the camera is once again rolling. Of course, Goldie doesn't notice this. She's sitting behind her desk with her laptop booted up and the Barnes &amp; Noble website shining on the screen. On the right side of the computer is a notebook, which Goldie is writing in. It appears that she's writing down book names.<p>

"And I need to get this book…and this one…and this one."

Liontail rolls his eyes, comes up behind, and blows an air horn in the golden she-cat's ear. She literally jumps about three feet in the air and lands on all fours with her fur spiky in that Halloween-cat way. Once she sees the culprit, she quickly smooths her fur down and then slaps the director.

"We _are_ rolling," Liontail justifies his actions before he backs away in case she's still got her claws extended.

Goldenheart growls under her breath and hisses, "No point to do that, though! Get back there!" Goldenheart shoves Liontail backstage, turns to the camera, clears her throat, and opens her mouth to speak.

"Okay, our guest today is Firestar," And pause for the awkward claps heard in the audience... "Bring him out, Sunclaw!"

From stage left, Sunclaw drags out the fiery tomcat and sits him down in the beanbag chair. The four hostesses pull up their spinny chairs and sit down. However, before the show can continue, Burntfur of course has to spin a few times. After an annoyed Nightsong stops her chair, the show properly begins.

Firestar looks around, his green eyes wide, and mutters, "I'm afraid."

Seconds after this statement, he turns just slightly to the side and sees Burntfur staring at him with a smile worthy of the Cheshire cat. Really. Her smile is huge and practically ear to ear.

Firestar jumps and screeches, after which Nightsong threatens, "Don't make me get out the hammer."

Hearing those two syllables, Firestar begs, "Not the hammer. Please, anything but the hammer!" The tough tomcat then breaks down and begins to cry. Meanwhile in the camp, Sandstorm is biting her tongue and trying not to laugh out loud.

Nightsong rolls her eyes and clarifies, "I was talking to Miss Crazy over there." She moans under hear breath.

Firestar stops crying all at once and whispers, "Oh."

After a beat, Goldenheart turns to Diamondeyes and asks, "Diamondeyes, will you please go get the thing?"

Diamondeyes gives a blank look and asks innocently, "What thing?"

"The _big _thing."

"What _big _thing?"

Goldenheart presses her paws to her temples and mutters, "The big thing backstage marked 'Do not touch'.

"OH!" Diamondeyes declares, breaking into a grin, "The big airplane cockpit that has the power to view what would happen if a certain thing didn't happen and if not used correctly can rip a hole in the space-time continuum the exact size of Belgium and destroy us all; that big thing?"

Everyone stares at her, as this was obviously a gigantic secret. Goldie breathes through her teeth and sighs, "Yes, Diamondeyes, that _big _thing. Now go get it and don't say another word."

Diamondeyes calmly trots off while Sunclaw tackles a now freaked out Firestar.

In that overdramatic way, Firestar shouts, "You'll never take me alive!" He breaks free of Sunclaw and makes a run for the elevator. On the other side of the room, Goldenheart facepalms and picks up a tranquilizer from a secret drawer in her desk.

"Lock n' load!" She looks through the crosshairs and fires a dart directly into Firestar's left paw. After a brief moment, Firestar slumps onto Sunclaw and knocks her over.

Now underneath the orange cat, Sunclaw mutters, "Thank you. Oh so much."

The door on the other side of the room pops open and Diamondeyes walks in backwards, dragging a wooden cart with an airplane cockpit that looks like it's from World War I. Nightsong turns to the camera as the other three cats dart to help pull it to the center of the room.

"We've been dared to make Firestar a kittypet again and make him watch what happened. This should be fun!"

With a hole the size of Belgium still at stake, sure, why not go and mess with time?

Everyone climbs into the cockpit with Whitefoot, Liontail, and a portable camera. Goldenheart presses a couple of buttons on the cockpit dashboard and announces, "Please keep your paws and legs inside the cockpit at all times. Please enjoy the ride!"

Burntfur, in one of her few non-insane moments, pulls back a joystick, and suddenly everyone's flying over a strange scene where a younger Firestar is lying comfortably in his twoleg's nest.

"What's going on?" Firestar asks, looking out the glass-free window.

Goldenheart looks at him and hisses, "You shoulda been listening."

Firestar stares at her and growls, "I was _unconscious_."

"That isn't an excuse!"

The scene below the cockpit changes to show Tigerclaw about to take Bluestar's last life. He quickly slits her throat and the scene speeds up to show Tigerstar ruling all four clans with an iron paw with Hawkfrost and Brambleclaw helping him. Firestar whimpers and hides behind Liontail. Liontail brings him back in front and shows him SkyClan, still all worthless rogues and kittypets. Skywatcher is dying in the gorge and opens his mouth to speak.

After Skywatcher draws one last, shuddering breath, he whispers to nothing, "There will be three, kin of his kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws."

Skywatcher then drops his head, dead. The prophecy can never come true now all because—

Firestar somehow senses the narrator and finishes, "I wasn't there." Suddenly he throws himself at the window and screams, "I'm sorry! Let me try again, please!"

Burntfur promptly throttles the joystick and suddenly they are back in the studio, with the cockpit sitting on the cart again.

Whitefoot helpfully drags Firestar out of the cockpit and announces, in a comically strained voice, "That wasn't real!"

Firestar promptly stops wailing like a kit for the second time in ten minutes as Diamondeyes squints to read something stamped on the skin of the cockpit. She begins to read and sounds out a tougher word, "After use, will cause majer ex-explos-"

Sunclaw suddenly hears the ticking noise and yells, "Everybody move!"

I'll not give you the details, so let's just cut to the chase-**_boom_**!

Seconds later, Liontail grabs a fire extinguisher and takes out the fire as the others crawl from their hiding places to check out the damage. Thankfully, the explosion was almost entirely contained within the cockpit, and only the cart and the plane have been destroyed.

Whitefoot sits up straight and clasps her paws. "Can we get back to Firestar now?"

"Yes. Liontail!" Goldenheart calls out to the director.

From the back room, a mechanism jiggles and something begins to roll forward onto the stage.

"We are bringing out the chair!" Burntfur cheers. "Dun dun dun dun!"

Nightsong, now officially fed up with Burntfur and her all powerful randomness, grabs her hammer and throws it. Burntfur narrowly dodges the flying cinder block as a strange chair with a harness, electrodes, and a box comes to a stop in the center of the room.

The two strongest members of the crew-Sunclaw and Nightsong-lunge towards Firestar and force him into the chair while Goldenheart hooks him up to the electrodes and sets the box out of sight.

"So now what happens?" Firestar asks, pawing at the wires, since all cats can barely resist shiny silver thin things that move.

Goldenheart pulls up a chair and sits down, as do the others. "We're going to ask you some yes or no questions. Please answer honestly. Okay, are you married?"

Firestar gets the point of this dare and, knowing that he should be okay, answers, "Yes."

Nightsong bounces up and asks, "Are your kits Leafpool and Squirrelflight?"

"Yes."

Diamondeyes sits up and asks, "Do you secretly admire Tigerstar?"

"No."

Burntfur grins devilishly and asks the million-dollar question, "Do you love Spottedleaf?"

Firestar answers too quickly; "No."

A very loud **_ZZZZT_**is heard. Firestar jumps in the chair and snaps, "Ow! What in StarClan's name was that?"

Liontail calls intellectually, "When you lie, you get shocked."

Firestar sheepishly whispers, "Oh..."

Everyone glances at each other and grin knowingly, since this indicates that he loves Spottedleaf.

"Okay..." Diamondeyes thinks for a moment and asks, "Are you cheating on Sandstorm?"

"What! No!"

_ZZZZT!_

Firestar's mouth hits the floor seconds before Whitefoot calls, "Do you have more than five lives left?"

"Yes."

_**ZZZZT!**_

Liontail yells, "Are you in love with Ferncloud?"

"No."

_**ZZZZT!**_

Firestar's jaw hits the ground again and he asks a rhetorical question, "Am I lying to myself?"

_**ZZZZT!**_

Firestar sighs.

_**ZZZZT!**_

"I didn't even say anything!"

_**ZZZZT!**_

"Ahhhhhh!"

_**ZZZZT!**_

The hostesses and Sunclaw now believe something wrong, and, to Firestar's melodic screeches, they sneak around the chair. Burntfur is sitting there, pressing the button on the box controlling the electrodes, which tests the electrodes by sending a shock through.

Burntfur looks up with a grin and innocently says, "Look what I found!"

Goldenheart snatches the box and Sunclaw and Nightsong clock Burntfur on the head at the same time with their hammers. Whitefoot moves back to her post to spare the viewers from the scene. Goldenheart pokes her head around the chair and quickly freeing Firestar, as Burntfur is rather anxious to get back to her game.

"Our guest next week will be Berrynose. Wait—a—minute…Clear! Firestar, run!"

Firestar leaps from the chair and runs like a pack of dogs were behind him. Now that the studio's empty, Goldie idly picks up the electrodes and starts wrapping them up.

"Okay, as I just said, our guest will be Berrynose. See ya next week!"

Sunclaw and Nightsong suddenly charge around and restrain Goldenheart in the chair. Nightsong quickly starts to explain, "Burntfur got a hold of the hammers and wants one of us to get shocked or get clocked. We voted you to get shocked."

Goldenheart glares at them and starts muttering under her breath before the shocks come. "You two—ouch!—are so—holy!—dead!"

Whitefoot immediately sticks the camera cap on the lens and goes to help Burntfur shock her nemesis.

* * *

><p>Long after the show has ended, Sandstorm is in the process of digging a grave in the center of the camp. Firestar's nice little proclamation on live television hasn't exactly helped her frazzled nerve endings. Once she's done, she turns to her friends, who have been standing by and listening to her rant, and snaps in finality;<p>

"When I get a hold of that wretched tomcat, he is dead. Do you hear me? Dead!"

Rather appropriately, Firestar stumbles into the camp, with scorch marks all over his brilliant orange fur. After taking a moment to examine the grave, he looks up at an advancing Sandstorm and starts to slowly back away. He looks towards his Clanmates for help, but the boys know all too well about the wrath of a she-cat scorned, and have chosen not to help their poor leader. Seeing that they won't be any help, Firestar begins chattering nervously.

"Sandstorm, I bet that that first wrong answer was the crazy black one's fault. I do not love Spottedleaf. You're the only cat for me- You look beautiful tonight, darling. Oh StarClan. Graystripe? Brambleclaw? Lionblaze? Anybody? Help!"

* * *

><p><strong>Number four! Sounds good? I hope it does! So anyway, I have a very important question for you guys and then a few announcements.<strong>

**How would you like it if this story used nekos (not sure if that's spelled right; it has a red under strike) instead of actual cats? Or would you prefer keeping the cats? This change would probably begin in chapter...six or so? Please share your thoughts.**

**Another thing that I'll probably outline more completely in the next chapter; there's going to be a special storyline for as long as I make these Warrior show stories. While you'll be able to figure out the story pretty quick, I hope that it'll be entertaining. :D**

**Things are going to change A LOT. You'll still have our wonderfully zany cats and crazy Burntfur, but the studio is going to undergo some majorly epic changes, and we're going to get to know some of our favorite kit-cats better.**

**Finally, the last announcement; it has become official...Warriors Unleashed is back and there will be a (redone) chapter EVERY Monday unless I'm on vacation, sick, or too blocked to do a chapter. This Monday thing will hopefully remain when I start doing new, never-before-seen episodes. :)**

**Thanks for reading, and review!**

* * *

><p><strong>Hosts<strong>

Goldenheart: Intelligent tortoiseshell she-cat with gold streaks, gold eyes (Goldenstar13)

Burntfur: Insane black she-cat with orange tail, hazel eyes(Goldenstar13)

Nightsong: Snarky silver she-cat with green and blue dyed streaks, hazel eyes (Goldenstar13)

Diamondeyes: Beautiful white she-cat with silver streaks, white eyes that glisten like diamonds (Goldenstar13)

**Camera Cats/Techies**

Whitefoot: Clever dark brown tabby she-cat, white paws, brown eyes (Goldenstar13)

**Security**

Sunclaw: Protective pale yellow tabby she-cat, yellow eyes that glisten like sunlight (Goldenstar13)

**Director**

Liontail: Hard-working dark ginger tabby with a fluffy tail tip, green eyes (Goldenstar13)


	5. Episode 5: Berrynose

**Episode 5: Berrynose**

**Five! And on time!...Okay, about twelve hours early, but I just want to get this up.**

**Two for keeping the cats and one neutral. Okay then, cats win out! Unless, of course, I get more reviews before next Monday... :( I only got three, after all. So, I'm extending our nice little poll to next Monday. If you already answered, you can't answer again, 'cause that would be cheating. :P**

**Anywho, onto Berrynose! I hope you all enjoy the revamp!**

* * *

><p>On the two new residential floors that Burntfur bought last episode, Liontail and Sunclaw are in the busy process of cleaning the rooms, as the previous residents left quickly, bringing only the necessities, valuables, and things that they actually owned. This leaves things such as washing machines, rented couches and chairs, and a few classic movies on DVD in the apartments. The second residential floor (which is technically the sixth floor) also happens to have verandas on a few of the suites, which means that, if the crew ever gets big enough to need the second or even third floor, those specific rooms will probably be fought over.<p>

Nightsong and Diamondeyes, being two ladies and not exactly the type for grunt work, are 'supervising'. Though they are being some help and checking the kitchenettes included in the rooms for snacks and any perishables, they're leaving the tom and the tomboy to do the real work.

In the meantime, Burntfur and Whitefoot are upstairs checking out the third residential floor while Goldie...well, StarClan knows where Goldie is.

Sunclaw peeks out the door of what will soon hopefully become storage and snaps, "Nightsong, do you think you can get off your back end and come help me with this couch?"

"Sure," Nightsong wiggles her nose curiously. "You didn't have to be so sarcastic about it."

As Nightsong shuffles past Sunclaw and into the room, Sunclaw throws daggers at her back before she follows her inside.

Liontail turns to Diamondeyes, hoping oh so slightly that she'll have also had a change of heart, but she quickly quips, "Don't even thing about it."

Liontail takes a breath through his teeth before he turns back towards the room. Suddenly, a completely calm Burntfur strolls down the spiral staircase that the construction crew spent most of the last week installing as per Goldie's instructions. In her paws is a chainsaw, up and running.

"Hey, check out what I found in room W13!"

The two cats in the hallway just stare at her while, behind Burntfur, Whitefoot is oh so calmly walking down the stairs with a hockey goalie mask with what we can only hope are paint splatters strapped across her face. "There's some neat stuff in there!"

Sunclaw and Liontail barely see the mask and the chainsaw before they grab the girls and book it towards the elevator.

Whitefoot pushes the mask up onto her head and curiously asks, "What's their problem?"

Burntfur turns off the chainsaw and answers, "Maybe it's time for the show?"

With a quick glance at the clock, Whitefoot shakes her head. "Nah, Berrynose isn't even here yet."

Suddenly the elevator opens and Goldie steps out with two cats. One is a silver tom with a metal-like sheen to his fur. He looks like the kind of cat who would be wearing glasses, but that isn't the case. He's also dragging a duffel bag, a suitcase, a laptop case, and a box that's filled with a rattling sound with him. Under one arm is a motorcycle helmet and hanging from his neck is what appears to be an ignition key.

The second cat is a gray she-cat with minute white speckles on her paws and her tail. She's carrying a small box with what looks like jars in front of her with a messenger bag thrown over her shoulder. On her other shoulder, her purse is idly swinging. She's kind of older-looking, but not much older than the cats. Twenty-something, maybe?

Goldie spots the pair and calls, "Hey, girls!"

Goldie and the two other cats slow to a stop as they see the mask and Burntfur's chainsaw. Goldenheart's mouth opens and shuts a few times before she asks, "Do I _want _to know where you found those?"

"W13!" Burntfur chatters, helpfully starting up her chainsaw. The gray she-cat jumps and almost drops her box of jars.

Goldenheart pulls a notebook out of her purse and flips through till she gets to what can be assumed is a room layout for the new two floors. She clicks her claws idly but stops when she gets to room W13.

"Snap, I wanted that to be the greenroom."

The silver cat clears his throat and Goldenheart quickly puts her notebook back in her purse. "Where're my manners? Burntfur, Whitefoot, this is Techyscreen, our new supervisor of all things techy, and this is Honeyleaf, our new head medicine cat. Techy'll be rooming with Liontail and Honeyleaf will be moving onto the new floor."

"I thought that we weren't going to need the two floors?" Whitefoot comments, taking off her mask and coming down the stairs to shake the cat's paws.

"Yeah, that was before I realized we needed a med cat and more than one tech and cameracat. Right!"

Goldie claps her paws and gestures to room W8, the only room that the crew has completely cleaned out and applied a plaque (with the letter and number) to. "Honeyleaf, this is your suite; we'll put your name on the door later on, I hope you don't mind living all alone on this floor. The infirmary's two floors down, marked 'Infirmary', can't miss it. Techy! Your room's downstairs, you'll be rooming with Liontail. All our suites are two to a suite, girls in even rooms, boys in odd. I'll show you to your station later. Burntfur! Put the chainsaw in room" the gold she-cat consults her notes, "W18 and then grab Nightsong so you can meet Berrynose downstairs. Whitefoot, lose the mask and find the others, get them introduced to T and H, the whole gist. Have fun, see ya in forty-five!"

All this on just a few breaths, which just shows how professional the golden she-cat is. Goldenheart spins on her heel, snatching a few of Techyscreen's bags, and hops into the elevator with him, leaving Burntfur, Whitefoot, and the new med cat staring at the closed doors.

"Did anyone catch any of that?" Honeyleaf questions.

"Pssh, of course I did. I'm a professional after all." Burntfur grins in that I-have-absolutely-no-idea-what-I'm-doing way. She's been backing towards the elevator while she said that and turns around, moving too fast, just in time to smack face-first into the closed doors.

"Yeah, she's a real professional," Whitefoot sighs before she steps over the black and orange cat, snatching the chainsaw, and leaving Honeyleaf wondering what exactly she's signed up for.

* * *

><p>Later on, Poppyfrost is worriedly pacing the camp. She's been at it for so long, it seems, that she's literally starting to wear a hole in the ground. Jayfeather, after having tripped over the mentioned hole, uses his whiskers to sense the she-cat's path and steps in front of her. In his grumpy way, he begins to speak;<p>

"Poppyfrost, sit down. I heard that they'll need you for a couple of dares, so you'll get to see him anyway."

Poppyfrost looks at the medicine cat and murmurs in a worried tone, "But what about my—"

Now in full grump-mode, Jayfeather thunders, "_We have two perfectly capable queens to take care of your kits_! Now sit down and change the channel!"

Poppyfrost, scared of a grumpy Jay, does what he says and hustles Cherrykit and Molekit into the nursery before quickly changing the channel to WU. Everyone gathers around the old TV.

* * *

><p>Later on, forty-five minutes after the afternoon's antics, Goldenheart, once again oblivious to the running camera (as usual), is curled up in her chair with a book, staring at the last few pages, biting her lip. One can see just the tiniest hint of a tear in her eyes...<p>

Randomly, Techyscreen comes up behind her and looks over her shoulder to read. Even he's shocked by the ending and can't help but shout, "Holy-!"

Goldie smacks a paw over his mouth, shoves him into the back room, and turns to the camera, which she has just realized is rolling.

"Hello and welcome to Warriors Unleashed! I'm proud to say that this show is going to be full of fun and games for y'all's enjoyment. And yes, I did just say y'all. It's a good Great Plains word, dontcha know?"

On the other side of the room, Nightsong facepaws and yells, "Goldie? We have work to do!"

"Fine!" Goldenheart yells back. "Before we get to the show, we have not one but two new crew members to introduce! First off, we have Techyscreen!"

The silver tomcat walks onstage to the applause and takes a bow. When he looks back up, he sees the most beautiful thing in the world...a spankin' new up-to-date camera, which he proceeds to tinker with.

Goldie mutters, "Um, okay... So we can get to know our crew members a little more, I'll be reading their full profiles. So, to begin; Techyscreen-"

Suddenly a disembodied voice cuts her off and finishes for her, "Techyscreen is a technical genius and lives for technology and anything mechanical. He is also a freelance mechanic and built his own motorcycle when he was little more than an apprentice.

The hostesses nervously looked around, slightly freaked out by the disembodied voice. Nightsong composes herself and takes a step forward. Okay..." Our second cat is Honeyleaf!"

Seconds after the gray she-cat walks onstage, the disembodied voice begins again. "Honeyleaf is she-cat medicine cat who hopes to open her own apothecary. She is also our very first medicine cat on Warriors Unleashed!"

Diamondeyes gives off a little shiver before she requests, "Can someone find that and smash it?"

Sunclaw immediately cackles and walks off with her sledgehammer tossed over her shoulder.

"Okay, though our friend the disembodied voice helpfully pointed out, I have to say something," Goldie begins, "Techyscreen is going to be our head technician and Honeyleaf is going to become our very first medicine cat and therefore our head med cat."

Honeyleaf takes a seat by the door marked 'infirmary' while Techyscreen walks into his control room and whacks a few buttons.

"On ta the dares, dun dun dun dun!" Burntfur cheers excitedly, jumping up and down and proceeding to cackle. Nightsong, as we all know she gets rather fed up with the black cat's antics, grabs her own hammer and throws it. Burntfur goes flying backwards into the wall and Honeyleaf immediately drags her into the infirmary like the professional medicine cat that she is.

Meanwhile, Liontail in the wings, declares, "Amazingly, he actually wants to come in. She-cats and toms, give it up for Berrynose!"

The live studio audience that the show has collected in it's few short weeks boo collectively as Berrynose prances out, all high and mighty.

"I'm here!" Berrynose brags, throwing up his paws, "Your lives a-just got better."

The hostesses all roll their eyes while Whitefoot, Honeyleaf, Liontail, and Techyscreen all groan from their positions. Just then, Sunclaw walks in while Berrynose unknowingly sits in the electric chair that Techyscreen's sent out.

"I smashed the record player," Sunclaw announces, swinging her hammer up and onto her shoulder. "Anything else...I need..." Suddenly she notices Berrynose. "Argh!"

She randomly grabs a much larger hammer from backstage and begins chasing Berrynose. Nightsong turns to the camera and helpfully explains, "Sunclaw despises Berrynose."

Berrynose races behind Nightsong and Sunclaw follows. Berrynose grabs Nightsong's shoulder and looks straight at the camera, shrieking sincerely, "I'm too perfect to die!"

"That's why you deserve to die! Argh!"

Goldenheart instinctively screeches and once again grabs her tranq from her secret drawer. She immediately takes out Sunclaw and Honeyleaf makes sure that the dart didn't puncture any major nerves.

Honeyleaf glances back and wonders aloud, "Are cats always getting hurt on this show?"

A now conscious Burntfur sits up and answers, "Nah...actually, yeah." She immediately falls back down again.

"Forget that!" Diamondeyes hollers, waving her paws. "Berrynose, would you be a dear and sit down?"

Berrynose dumbly sits in the electric chair and Nightsong goes to restraining and hooking him up. Goldie claps her paws twice and Honeyfern and Poppyfrost appear front and center.

"Techyscreen, Liontail, you two need to do this..."

She pulls the toms aside and whispers instructions in their ears before turning to Berrynose.

"Berrynose! You have been dared to watch these two kidnap the two ladies in your life."

She turns back to the audience and gestures for them to lean in closer so only they can hear. "What Berrynose doesn't know is that if he moves, he will be shocked." She straightens back up again. "For reasons noted in the last episode, Diamondeyes over here will be in charge of the electrode box."

Diamondeyes takes the box and pulls up a chair while Goldenheart waves her tranq at Burntfur to make it clear that she's not to touch the box.

"On your mark..." Nightsong starts, "Get set... Go!"

Techyscreen and Liontail ambush both she-cats from behind and shove them into burlap sacks. Berrynose yells something unintelligible and tries to move for them. Diamondeyes promptly shocks him. Cackling, as this is the most fun they've had in forever, the two toms take the elevator down into the garage and load the girls into Liontail's rented Jeep. Whitefoot and Nightsong have followed them and take the show's van, which Nightsong commandeers. They then take off after the Jeep and cover the action on a big screen on the studio's east wall. The boys swerve onto the Performing Arts Center turn-off and Berrynose moves again. Diamondeyes laughs and shocks him again. Completely randomly, a nice Mustang swings in front of the show's van. Who's driving?

Sunclaw and Burntfur lean forward and stare at the screen. The driver is a handsome red tabby tom with brown eyes.

"Who is that?"

Sitting at her desk, Goldenheart smiles knowingly and admits, "A friend of mine."

The red cat, as if he heard her, turns and winks directly into Whitefoot's camera. Then he proceeds to chase the car while Berrynose drops into an excited frenzy, with Diamondeyes shocking him again and again. The odd red cat leans on the horn and gives the Jeep a little nudge with his Mustang, almost succeeding in knocking the pair off of the road. Berrynose realizes this and yells incoherently, after which Diamond shocks him one last time. Finally a laughing Goldie grabs a walkie-talkie and says, "Flame, Liontail, Techyscreen, you can cut it out with the high-speed chase thing. I think that we've gone and tortured Berrynose enough.

'Flame' and the other two laugh before 'Flame' swings in front of the Jeep and continues on his path to the Performing Arts Center at the end of the road while the boys make a perfect U-turn along with Whitefoot and Nightsong.

"En route to studio!" Liontail replies.

Suddenly, Liontail's Jeep crashes through the back wall. Which is quite a trick, seeing as the studio is on the _fourth floor_.

Techyscreen rolls down the window and shouts, "Woo! That rocked!"

Goldenheart stomps over, and, in a fit of rage, rips the door off of the car and hefts the two out while Burntfur and Diamondeyes free the girls.

Liontail dejectedly whispers, "That was a rental..."

A ticked off Goldenheart spins on her heel and scolds, "The rental company is the least of your worries. You two are so _dead_. And believe me when I say that the wall is coming out of your next paycheck."

"We're fine," Honeyfern inserts, "Thanks for asking!"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. If you two would just sit down right there, thank you!" The golden she-cat turns back to the two toms, who are being poked and prodded by Honeyleaf while Nightsong and Whitefoot laugh.

"Is there anything else I need to say? I don't think so."

"Weeeelllllll..." Diamondeyes notes, "You could ask them how they got that car _up _here."

"I don't think that I even want to know, D," Goldie breathes.

Over in the corner, Burntfur has hijacked the box and is messing with it again. "Hehehe. Dance, berrynose, dance!"

Berrynose is dancing on two legs and is still connected to the electrodes. The sad part is that he's actually enjoying it.

"Gotta dance!"

The hostesses look on, rolling their eyes, before Sunclaw swings her hammer and threatens, "Calm it down, Burntfur. Give me the box."

Burntfur holds her box protectively while Nightsong quickly unhooks Berrynose.

"Okay, Berrynose."

Nightsong claps her paws and hammers appear in Poppyfrost and Honeyfern's paws. "You've been dared to choose between the two she-cats you love. Go for it."

Berrynose automatically starts stalling, muttering out unintelligible half-syllables while inching towards the door. Sunclaw stops him and waves one electrode threateningly.

"She's still at it. Ten seconds."

"Ummmm..."

"Five...four...three..."

Berry quickly shouts, "Honeyfern!"

Poppyfrost jumps to her feet and screams, "_I knew it!_"

Randomly, Poppyfrost turns into a Scarran from Farscape, swings the hammer above her head, and begins chasing Berrynose. Goldie, familiar with Farscape and therefore Scarrans, leaps out of the way and grabs the fire extinguisher. The others standing in the monster's path are going to have some nice little burns later on. Goldie quickly flips on the fire extinguisher and sprays the Scarran, after which it turns back into Poppyfrost.

"Thank you ladies, you can go now!"

The two sisters disappear back to StarClan and the camp. Since Honeyleaf and Goldenheart were the only ones of the crew to escape first degree burns, Honeyleaf begins treating the others while the hostess moves onto the last dare.

"We've been dared to have Burntfur read Berrynose's secrets while I make them appear. Okay! Diamondeyes?"

Diamondeyes, her burns cleared, bounces off to get the secrets for the black she-cat. Honeyleaf stands up and dusts herself off. "Okay, everyone should be all right later on. But Techyscreen, why did I find metal in your bloodstream?"

In a dark tone, Techyscreen answers, "My mother was a robot."

There's awkward silence and then a lightning strike combined with thunder.

"Cree-py," Whitefoot notes before Diamondeyes reappears and hands the page containing Berrynose's secrets to Burntfur.

"Okay, here we go. Berrynose, front and center."

Berrynose cowers in front of Burntfur and Goldenheart as Burntfur holds up the paper.

"He has a severe fear of fox traps."

Goldenheart claps her paws and a fox trap appears before Berrynose. He screams like a girl and dives for the elevator door. Sunclaw catches him by his stumpy tail and tosses him back across the room.

"He is in love...with his mirror!"

Goldenheart claps her paws and a mirror appears. Berrynose kisses it. Goldenheart raises one eyebrow and calmly hums, "_Rum Tum Tugger is a curious cat..._"

"Not many secrets here, eh?" Burntfur comments. "Last one. He is..." the insane she-cat gasps before she finishes, "...training in the Dark Forest!"

There's a collective gasp around the studio. Goldenheart can't help but blurt, "Thornclaw, yes, but I never thought it would be him!"

Techyscreen exits his control room and shouts, "Get 'im!"

Everyone gathers into a stampede and they surge forward to attack Berrynose. Honeyleaf, all alone now, leaps to the abandoned camera and turns it towards her. "Our next episode's guest will be Sandstorm. We'll see you next week!"

Whitefoot goes flying past Honeyleaf's back. Honeyleaf sighs and she goes to do what she's signed up for...healing absolutely insane cats.

* * *

><p>Back in ThunderClan camp, the ladies are engaging in the time-old tradition of eating ice cream to ease emotional pain. Poppyfrost laments over a tub of vanilla, "I just can't believe that he loves Honeyfern! I knew I was right. I just knew it.<p>

"We feel your pain, girl," Cinderheart comforts, "Here, try Rocky Road."

Berrynose suddenly walks in to camp, all full of swagger, and the girls turn on him in a big mob, abandoning their ice cream.

"Okay, I know that looked bad-" Berrynose starts defending himself and backs up, "-but I was _that_ close to getting shocked. I only had seconds to answer and Honeyfern is sort of easier to say…Ladies, you really don't need to look that ticked off...Oh, fox dung. Somebody help!"

* * *

><p>Later on, long after the show and late at night, Techyscreen rides up to an office building on his precious motorcycle, which he built himself from scrap parts, giving it an awesome Frankenstein-ish look.<p>

Popping off his helmet, Techyscreen looks at the office building. Spotting only one light on, in the room he was told to meet the sender of an odd letter in, Techyscreen climbs the stairs up to the floor with the light and knocks the twice. The door swings open silently and slowly. After a beat, he walks inside, into the dimly lit office. The smell of Japanese cherry blossoms automatically hits his nostrils.

"Hello, Techyscreen. Sit down."

Techyscreen sits down opposite the shape on the other side of the desk, putting his helmet on the floor. The shape leans forward, revealing herself, but only to the silver tomcat.

"Techyscreen, I've brought you here to talk to you about the G Star Thirteen initiative..."

* * *

><p><strong>Next week is the all-powerful everything-changes sixth episode! Woohoo! It's also where our crew starts to fill out and we get some more of our favorite kitties back.<strong>

**I kinda had a bit too much fun with that last part and couldn't help but put in a nice little Avengers reference. It was fun, thanks for asking. :D**

**Just randomly, I somehow compare Berrynose to the Rum Tum Tugger from CATS. They're both stuck-up womanizers that you somehow learn to love...**

**Finally, I hope somebody caught the connection I've made between two of my stories...Hint hint...**

**I don't have anything else to say. *Tips head* Odd...**

****I like reviews. They're shiny. :)****

****Thanks for reading!****

* * *

><p><strong>Hosts<strong>

_Goldenheart:_Intelligent tortoiseshell she-cat with gold streaks, gold eyes, head hostess and executive producer

_Burntfur_: Insane black she-cat with orange tail, hazel eyes, Goldie's best friend, in charge of picking up cats

_Nightsong_: Snarky silver she-cat with green and blue dyed streaks, hazel eyes, in charge of picking up cats, has a crush on Techyscreen

_Diamondeyes_: Beautiful white she-cat with silver streaks, white eyes that glisten like diamonds, in charge of the cat's secrets

**Head Technician**

_Techyscreen_: Mysterious silver tom with a metallic sheen that makes him look metal, blue eyes, has a crush on Nightsong

**Camera Cats/Techies**

_Whitefoot_: Clever dark brown tabby she-cat, white paws, brown eyes, head camera cat, very ambitious but somewhat lazy and secret pines for the exec producer job

**Security**

_Sunclaw_: Protective pale yellow tabby she-cat, yellow eyes that glisten like sunlight, head of security, very strong, has a small crush on Liontail

**Director**

_Liontail_: Hard-working dark ginger tabby with a fluffy tail, green eyes, in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly onstage, has a crush on Goldenheart

**Medicine Cats**

_Honeyleaf_: Motherly gray she-cat with white speckles, yellow eyes, head medicine cat, owns a small apothecary business


End file.
